| Rantings of a mad woman | |
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Friday, July 29, 2005 Repercussions My dearwe is ignoring me... haiz... but i guess this is nobody's fault but my own!Anyway, my perfect plan of using the freaking 10 days to think it out totally crashed out on me... was in an emotional turmoil thru out my trip... i simply love him la... cant stand the thought of life without his presence... Relationships are bound to be wrought with feelings that are positive or negative... at least they're passionate emotions. If one day, there're totally nothing left to feel except pity... maybe then... ... 0 comments
Sunday, July 17, 2005 What is love? Haiz, love is so intangible... cannot be measured physically... but yet my life revolves around it...why do i feel the way i feel? damn... think i'm comparing him with other more romantic and more thoughtful guys... then again, since i myself is not the bake-brownies-cook-ten-course-dinner-for-bf kind of gal, how can i expect him to be a lovey-dovey boy at my beck and call... always tot that this is not a problem.. i think it's still not.. is it? haiz.. damn, everything keeps goin round and round and there's no answer... i keep giving him the cold shoulder.. so wat does it mean? is it bcos i dun love him anymore? got no more feelings for him? or is it bcos i'm unhappy with certain issues and i'm showing it in my behaviour towards him? but if that's the case, then wat am i unhappy with? small things, big things, issues that were never issues before but have jus risen out of nowhere now and have decidedly become a big factor in the success of the relationship.. damn.. think i'm like julia robert's character in "Runaway Bride"... in terms of mentality that is.. running away at the very last moment when she's walking up the aisle.. with the exception that i'm not getting married (nor any time soon).. think i'm turning my back on him cos the thought of our future rushes at me and it's jus very creepy... i mean for god's sake.. this lady here(ME) havent even got a freaking job.. and i'm supposed to be thinking about how i can help my husband in his business nex time.. damn, getting angry as i typed.. haha how feelings change.. i was supposed to be feeling kinda confused.. gotta be my hormones at work, creating chaos in my brain... as if i dun have enough in my head to deal with! hmmm... or is it bcos he's my first... there's always the tempting thought that there's someone out there for me that's goin to be even more suitable than him? but like my fren told me, if i get married nex time, i would have to be committed to the relationship so i guess stray thoughts are not goin to help the marriage is it? but.. i'm not married now wat!!!! argh.. that's a terrible thought rite (condemn myself) so he's goin on another 6 months IA in december... i'm supposed to wait for him.. i mean willingly la of cos.. why can't we jus leave it to fate? all these time... no one has really attempted to go after me.. cos i'm labelled "attached" (chopped onto my head) but i have a number of crushes.. like i'll imagine wat it'll be like with another guy.. then scenes of us pak-tor-ing will play in my head like a movie.. of cos minus the quarrels that a real relationship brings.. is this normal? they're not premonitions that this current relationship i have is doomed is it? argh... i'm not making sense liao.... haiz... think i'll go with my original plans: which is to procrastinate! haha... well, i'll give myself 10 days of break.. go china.. dun think too much.. come back and see how.. i mean, issues such as these cant be rationalized into problem sums and expect to have a formula to follow and correct answers... 0 comments
Friday, July 08, 2005 Brand new start Started this blog initially as a form of communication with my bf during his 6 months exchange in Seattle. So you'll see alot of photos and alot of mushy messages to him... but i've decided to do up my blog properly. Partly due to my newly unemployed status (read: occupation)... got tons of time on my hand so decided to do some constructive things. Inspired mainly by my "brother" Rockie, cos i was looking thru his blog entries and i found out more abt him that i wouldnt have known otherwise. So i guess this is a good avenue for frens to know more abt me and also as an online diary for me to record down my thoughts...My ambitious goal now is to try to recapture my thoughts on the 3 weeks plus in China and 4 days in Bangkok. Written them down in a journal... so the hard part now is to try and shift them onto the blog. Wish me luck... Note: But since my biggest character flaw is nua-ness.. the nex blog entry will probably be eons from now! :P 0 comments
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about Më NICKNAME: misa OCCUPATION: officially unemployed (no more school holidays! sienz) BIRTHDAY: 28feb, supposedly Pieces but am really an unromantic person with not much artistic inclinations except for the occasional off-key karaoke singing OTHER WACKY INFO: enjoys big-time nuaing! song of the moment Any Michael Buble songs hot links Ang moh song lyrics archives January 2005 |